Torche “Meanderthal” (can’t get the song “Healer” out of my head, fuck!)
Testament “The Formation Of Damnation”
Death Angel “Killing Season”
Pitbull “The Anthem” (song)
Beastie Boys “The Mix Up”
Logical Nonsense “Soul Pollution”

Today is officially the first day of summer. In Miami, this just means an extra kick to the nuts everytime you walk out the front door. Another 6 or 7 months until we may get a week or two of temperatures that don’t feel like walking through napalm. The forecast here is always the same. The FOX weatherman gets the easiest paycheck in Miami. The sun burns and bores me to death. My Turkeyneck sticks to my leg like a honey lathered cow tongue. My balls are pickled in what feels like the spit from a tortoise tongued vagabond. Sweat rolls down my face like the river Hades. I don’t leave my air conditioned apartment, unless I absolutely have to (no beer). I look out my window and see Hellspawn walking around with their shirts off, riding their longboards, feeding pigeons and not picking up their dog shit. Drivers licenses are handed out like techno club flyers. Reggaeton is the devil’s music.

Just got back from SF the other day. Hung out w/my cousins the first day which was cool. Watched the De La Hoya fight at their place. Too bad he won though cuz or else he would’ve screwed up the another big payday w/Mayweather. On Sunday a friend of a friend hooked us up with tix to the A’s game vs TX. We took the Bart there and I couldn’t believe how fuckin’ clean it was not to mention it didn’t smell. This is absolutely unheard of coming from a native New Yorker like your boy. A’s won which is good I guess, obviously I’m not a baseball fan. One on one, man to man combat is more my thing. Good times nonetheless. Hit up the Narm convention where a bunch of retailers, distributors, labels and also digital distros get together to discuss the state of music over tons of drinks, drinks and more drinks not to mention nature’s own “plants”. Overall the retailers are becoming much more “lifestyle oriented” to just survive.  Pretty soon they’ll be a bunch of head shops that happen to sell a couple of cd’s on the side. Also ran into a bunch of friends but didn’t see any big artists this year which was weak. At least we ran into 50 Cent in Chicago at last years Narm by the elevators. Anyway, that’s my word for now. Cheers. - JC

This week my wife and I adopted a dog from animal services in Miami. That place is so depressing. There all tons of dogs (strays, abandoned, etc.) that all need homes, otherwise they get put down. I honestly recommend anyone who is looking into getting a pet to adopt, there are so many out there that need homes. We adopted a straight up mutt & she is way out of place here in Miami Beach. Everyone here has purse dogs/pure breds. Whenever anyone sees her they say “what is she?”…It’s like a foreign topic to say “mix breed”. She looks like a wild animal. We named her Loki and she’s been really good. I’m exhausted though, getting used to this new routine. She’s had a tough life…was found as a stray and the original owner never took off her puppy collar so it was almost embedded in her neck. She actually has a bald spot on her neck from trying to scratch the collar off (which may never grow back). I know most people consider myself a curmudgeon, but it’s mainly towards the human race. It makes me sick when people do shit like this to an innocent animal. She’s been chilling by my feet while I work this past week. She likes the new Kevin Seconds cd on Asian Man. It’s mellow and she likes to snooze to it. Her farts are pretty rancid though. Now I have someone to blame them on.

well it’s over. everything went really smooth. thanks to everyone that worked and organized especially nick and pete. fri……got to hang out with the mongoloids. they came up to west palm and we went to lunch. they raided the tattoo shop of eulogy merch. a few guys took pictures in girl tank tops from aces high.later went to the bbq and hung out. some angry old guy that worked their called the cops . we left as soon as that guy came over b/c i knew the cops were coming right after. sat…. portraits of rappers on the walls at the venue. a mosque next door. a great outdoor bbq a few streets down. got to meet and hang out w/bruce willis naked.

No I am not singing Staind. I have not posted in a long time as I was trying to let the other dudes catch up with me. Seeing as some of them finally have I will drop some glorious posts back into this badboy. First, I would like to welcome our newest employee Lance.

He is the customer liaison for eulogy at district lines. If you have an issue with your order, he will be the cute voice on the other end of the phone. Tell him we said “Go get ‘em tiger!”

I also added an mp3 player to the blog for special situations where we need the 1 guy who reads this crap to hear something important. Enjoy it, guy.

I am taking a break from my normal day-to-day work because I have a splitting headache brought on by terrible myspace graphics, stupid teenage mosh core clothing companies, and all these retarded 20 something booking/management companies that are piled on every bands myspace page. Word to the wise if your trying to get signed, put more effort into writing quality tunes and touring rather than a shit cluttered myspace of things that make you look more important than you really are. Fuck is it annoying.

Honest Tea is the best drink on earth.

1. New season of “The Ultimate Fighter”
2. Pizza Now (I ate there 3x/within the last 24 hrs, carbs rule!)
3. My left knee getting a little better
4. Mike Ness covering Dylan www.youtube.com/watch?v=0zRfe_RY_9E
5. Coors Light
6. www.gurumastermindblog.com
7. Bad Religion “Against The Grain”
8. South FL Boxing
9. EliteXC reruns of Shamrock vs Cung Le
10. TGIF!

I GOT MY TICKET IN THE MAIL FOR THE SOLD OUT BEN WEASEL SHOW IN CHICAGO ON MAY 25TH! (AND YES, OF COURSE I HAVE A WEASEL TATTOO!) I’M SO PSYCHED! I’M FLYING IN SUNDAY MORNING AND FLYING OUT MONDAY MORNING (MEMORIAL DAY). I’M STAYING WITH GREAT FRIENDS (THANKS LINZ & PETE!) AND PLANNING ON HAVING A HEAVY-METAL BURGER AT KUMA’S CORNER BEFORE THE SHOW. HERE’S MY DREAM SET-LIST (IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER):

*TALK TO ME SUMMER *TOTALLY *I WANNA BE A HOMOSEXUAL *DINGBAT *SUPERMARKET FANTASY *MY RIGHT *MAKING YOU CRY *SLOGANS *GUEST LIST *SCIENCE OF MYTH *WHAT WE HATE *DON’T TURN OUT THE LIGHTS *MY BRAIN HURTS *GONNA STRANGLE YOU *EVERY NIGHT *CLAIRE MONET *A NEW TOMORROW *HANGING AROUND *JOANIE LOVES JOHNNY *JEANNIE’S GOT A PROBLEM WITH HER UTERUS *IT’S ALL IN MY HEAD *GOING HOME *DUMMY UP *DIRTY NEEDLES *IF I WAS YOU *I WROTE HOLDEN CAULFIELD *GOOD MORNING *THIS BUD’S FOR ME *CELENA *27 THINGS I WANNA DO TO YOU *PRETTY GIRLS DON’T TALK TO ME *YOU BLISTER MY PAINT *I WILL ALWAYS BE THERE *FIRST DAY OF SUMMER *HANDCUFFED TO YOU *LAST STOP TOKYO *MENTAL RETARD *WAIT IT OUT *IN A FEW DAYS *ADDITION BY SUBTRACTION *IN A BAD PLACE

OK THAT’S RETARDED ENOUGH! I KNOW I FORGOT A BUNCH! I’LL BE IN THE PIT!!!

1. Rob & Big
2. Wall St. Warriors
3. Boy Meets Grill (Bobby Flay)
4. Celebrity Apprentice
5. The Big Idea w/Donny Deutsch
6. Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations
7. Bobby G: Adventure Capitalist
8. Start Up Junkies
9. Top Chef
10. Throwdown w/Bobby Flay